Becoming Happy

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others. By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

Confession: This year of Weston's medical training has been really hard on our family. He isn't home very often. He works really long hours day to day (averages bout 80 hours a week) and only gets 4 days off per month. We had a new baby not too long ago. That means I am by myself taking care of three kids. We see other people our age building brand new houses, going on fun weekend getaways, and just being able to spend time together, and it's easy to get down and have negative feelings about our situation. Really easy. We could (and sometimes do) complain about how hard our life is and how unfair everything seems, but that usually doesn't make things any better. The above quote is completely, 100% accurate. The times that I have been focused inward on how hard my situation is, are the times that have been the darkest for me. Whereas, on the flip side, the times that I have been more outward focused and trying to make the best of things are the times I have been happy! 

It is really hard to focus on anything else but ourselves when we are going through trials. I think our natural instinct is to have a bit of a pity-party and think with a "why, me?" mentality. "Why is this happening to me?" "Why do I always get the raw end of the deal?" "I need something better to happen to me" That's a whole lot of selfish thinking. And it's not enough to just think "Well, other people have it worse. Think about those affected by the storm in the  Philippines or all the starving people in the world. At least we have a job." Just because someone else has a worse situation, doesn't mean we can't feel bad about our trials. What does make a big difference is finding someone in need and actually doing something to help them. The act of serving other people just helps us forget about ourselves for a bit. I think hard thing about  being depressed--or even just having a sad day--is that we get sucked into this cycle of feeling sad, not wanting to do anything, and sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. When we start to feel down, we just need to break the cycle somehow! 

I feel like a lot of times we depend on outside circumstances or people to make us happy. Well, guess what? If that's what we're waiting on, then there's a good chance we will never be happy. No thing or person can make us feel anything. That is completely up to us. So, if we want to be happy we have to make that choice for ourselves. SO! During this holiday season, I am going to challenge myself to find ways to serve others daily. It could be a member of my family, a friend, or even a stranger. I know this will help me forget about how hard my situation is and, in turn, make me a happier person. And we all know that when mom is happy, it's a lot easier for everyone else to be happy :) 

**post edit: I have no idea what blogger did to my last post! I proof read and then it went crazy on me!