A few nights ago, my friend told me about an experience she had while she was at a friend's party. There was a varied mix of people there--married, single, children, med students, phd students, etc. Anyway, she told me that at one point during the night, she was talking to a group of women who didn't have children and were all either in school or had a career, and she felt inferior (not her exact words, but something along those lines) because she is a stay-at-home mom. She felt like these women didn't really value the work she does and maybe even thought less of her because she isn't a "career woman."
As she was telling me this, I found myself recalling times that I have felt the same way. When I meet my husband's classmates and they ask what I do, sometimes I will say, "Oh, I'm just a stay-at-home mom." Just a stay-at-home mom? Yeah....no. There is definitely no "just" about it. I feel like those of us that are fortunate enough to be able to stay home and raise our children should feel just as valuable as those women who have careers. It is no easy task spending all of your waking hours with a small human who's only form of communication is grunts and gestures. It's enough to drive you crazy after a while! I feel like some women think we do it because we can't do anything else. Wrong-o! Trust me, the women I know who stay home with their kids are some of the most intelligent people I've met. And--I've said this before--I would L-O-V-E to go back to school and pursue a career, but guess what? Raising my child--teaching him things, being there for the milestones--is more important to me than any job could ever be, and I am so blessed to be in a situation that I am able to choose to stay home with him. (I don't know how working-moms do it--you all are super-human!)
There is nothing about being mom, to be ashamed of! We are responsible for the rearing of another human being--that's a big deal! Shame on society for making us feel like we need to prove our worth. If you want to judge what I do, come spend a day with my little tazmanian devil and see if you still think I'm "just" a mom.
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Oo...I like this post, Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. After my first child I was able to stay home with him for 6 months and with my second only 3 weeks!!! Finacially we are unable to only have one income coming in so to daycare they went. But I do have friends that are stay-at-home moms and they work just as hard if not harder than me.
ReplyDeleteSo I definitely agree that motherhood is often overlooked and under appreciated. I know that I didn't fully appreciate MY mom and all she's done for me, until recent years. And I think it's awesome the work that YOU do- you're definitely not "just" a mom.
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling the same way lately- but in reverse. I get together with all my friends who have babies, and all they talk about is babies and pregnancy... and I feel like my life is meaningless in comparison (which it is, hahaha).
To be fair, when people get together they talk about commonalities between them. So if the majority of the women aren't moms- but are going to school or working- they most likely aren't going to conversate (Fake word... but I like it) about motherhood- and vice versa. Not because they don't think it's important- but it simply doesn't pertain to them. They're going to talk about what they have in common.
Anyway- there's my little soapbox :) It's like when you're single... and you hang out with married people... I guess it's just perspective. :)