Things people don't tell you...

I posted this on my personal family blog a while ago, but now that I'm pregnant again it seems relevant. I was talking to one of my friends who is about to become a first-time mom, and she seemed overwhelmed with all of the "truths" people were telling her about pregnancy and motherhood. I think a lot of times people tend to candy-coat the experience of becoming a mom. "Oh, being a mom is wonderful!" "I loved being pregnant! The birth of my baby was amazing!" etc. Sure, there are some people who have wonderful experiences and everything is rainbows and sunshine, but I really think they are in the minority. Babies are tough, and in my opinion, the first few months with a newborn do not come with a euphoric feeling--more like a hazy, I-haven't-slept-for-more-then-three-consecutive-hours feeling. Maybe I'm just Debby Downer, but here's how I see it...

1) Be excited for baby to come, but for heaven sakes SLEEP as much as you can until your bundle of joy arrives!
I realize that sleeping isn't that easy whilst you are 9 months pregnant what with the frequent potty breaks and heartburn, but just do it while you can because when that baby gets here you will forget what it's like to sleep through the night--at least for a few months. Being pregnant for a second time, I am looking back and missing all of my free time I could have spent napping when I was pregnant with Jackson and didn't have another child to take care of. *sigh* those were the days!

2) Motherhood is so wonderful.......eventually.
Everyone always says, "Motherhood is the most amazing thing ever," and, while this is true, most women I have talked to who have had babies agree that those first weeks are not so amazing. Yes, you will love your child the minute you meet him/her, but then they start crying and you don't know why. They need to eat every three hours no matter what you're doing or where you are--this includes nighttime hours (see point #1). They don't smile at you for about 6 weeks, so you have no idea if they even like you. On top of all this your post-pregnancy hormones are making you crazy, literally. I used to be a little confused as to why women got Postpartum Depression. I mean, come on, you have this wonderful, cute little baby to cuddle all day, what's there to be sad about right? Wrong-o! Not everyone experiences Postpartum Depression, but I can totally understand why some women do. My parents came the week that Jackson was born so I had help, but as soon as they left, and Weston was at school all day, and I was all alone with this newborn that I had no idea how to take care of (see point #3), I thought I was going to lose it. So, I ended up hopping on a plane with my two-week-old child and going to my parent's house. You gotta do what you gotta do. I'm hoping that with the second one, these feelings won't be so overwhelming since I have some idea of how to take care of a baby. But I'm sure there will be different stresses that come with having two kids :)

3) Babies don't come with instruction manuals.
You can read all the baby how-to books in the world (I felt like I did), but sometimes you just won't know why your baby is crying, or not sleeping, or spitting up so much, or not eating enough, etc. I feel like motherhood is a learning process, and every baby is different so the "rules" don't necessarily apply to every baby. I feel like I'm still on that learning curve and Jackson is two and is fully capable of telling me what he needs!

4) Everyone has an opinion
From what you're naming your child to why your bundle of joy is screaming in the grocery store (or your OB's office) , everyone has an opinion and is more than willing to voice it. I think you have to just realize that the sweet old lady in back of you in line really does mean well when she says, "He must be starving! That's why he's crying." No lady, I just fed him. Thanks. You just have to take these unwelcome suggestions in stride, smile, and say, "Yeah, maybe." And, I'm pretty sure, the unsolicited opinions and "those looks" don't ever end. Everyone is always so quick to judge how you're raising your children. I guess it's just something ya gotta get used to.

5) Nursing your baby is an amazing bonding experience---not always true. Now, I didn't have a horrible nursing experience and some people may disagree with me on this point, but I had mixed feelings about it. Yes, it is awesome that you have your babies food supply inside your boobs, and yes, it's nice to not always have to heat up a bottle when baby is hungry, but when your newborn needs to eat every three hours and there isn't always a nice mother's room to nurse in, or when the baby in front of you at church starts crying and you start to leak, it's kind of a pain in the you-know-what. The best advice I can give is, make sure your baby will take a bottle. I started Jackson day one with a bottle and gave him one once a day to make sure he wouldn't forget how to drink from it. Best idea I've ever had. I'm hoping this next one will be as cooperative. I am a little nervous about breast feeding again, I'm not gonna lie.

All that being said, I really do love being a mom. Jackson is the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm sure I'll feel the same way about this next little bundle (maybe not until he sleeps through the night, though).